Clueless Morons

"Mourning Commute?" Are you kidding me? WTF?

Does the AP style guide really allow for obvious tasteless puns when covering a tragedy?

Disgusting.

Lehman Bros Inspired Thought of the Day

On paper, Free Market Capitalism makes sense; but then again so does Communism.

In one case greed trumps common sense; in the other, greed trumps common welfare.

You pick the case.

FYI Dept.: iTunes 8 Genius Test Results, Ad Frank Edition

So, contrary to my "Let the suckers do the beta testing" instincts, I upgraded to iTunes 8 in order to check out its new "Genius" function, a 'smart filter' that will take any song selection and "create a playlist of other songs from your library that go great together"(while also recommending songs to purchase from iTunes store).

Naturally I decided to push its limits and ignore the obvious. Being lazy and unscientific I limited the test to three playlists.

Playlist One tests how well Genius handles Nerd Soundtracks choices, with trigger song being "Captain Scarlet Main Theme (Stereo Version w/Narration)" (click images to enlarge):





Playlist Two tests how well Genius handles Cult Rocker Personal Friends From Boston:



Test Three is a triple bind - how well can Genius handle a selection that could either be JPop,Anime, or Superhero Muze?:



As you can see, Genius come out with a score of "Not Bad." For example, Playlist One's rather superb matching of Ifukube, Goldsmith, and Morricone goes seriously awry with the jump to Bernstein (and not Elmer).

Playlist Two disappoints with the obvious yet appropriate matching of Ad Frank and Bowie, but segueing from "Everything Counts" to "Atlantic City" gets points for ballsiness.

Finally Playlist Three resolves the Triple Bind by maniacally shuttling back and forth between genres resulting in such awesome song selections as "Take The Skinheads Bowling" into "Imperial March" from Star Wars into "Spider-man TV Theme" by the Ramones. Astounding.

Who wants to trade Genius Playlists?

Smart Dog Tricks

Escape de Sofía!

Best Straight Dope Ever ?

straight dope: how would the U.S. military fight attack by a zombie army?

Cecil - you're the greatest!

I'm gonna go with unintentional...

Many Versions of 'Bush Doctrine'
Palin's Confusion in Interview Understandable, Experts Say

By Michael Abramowitz
Washington Post Staff Writer
Saturday, September 13, 2008; A01

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin seemed puzzled Thursday when ABC News anchor Charles Gibson asked her whether she agrees with the "Bush doctrine."

"In what respect, Charlie?" she replied.

Intentionally or not, the Republican vice presidential nominee was on to something.

Isn't it swell when the wolfpack liberal Palin hating sexist press write entire articles devoted to proving that ignorance and insight are equivalent?

Tat for Tit

Every time a Republican refers to "the Democrat Party," be sure to refer to "the Repuglican Party."

anonymous meet Anonymous

"Please continue your informational war against the truth."

So THAT's what you meant!

GIBSON: You said recently, in your old church, "Our national leaders are sending U.S. soldiers on a task that is from God." Are we fighting a holy war?

PALIN: You know, I don't know if that was my exact quote.

GIBSON: Exact words.

PALIN: But the reference there is a repeat of Abraham Lincoln's words when he said -- first, he suggested never presume to know what God's will is, and I would never presume to know God's will or to speak God's words. But what Abraham Lincoln had said, and that's a repeat in my comments, was let us not pray that God is on our side in a war or any other time, but let us pray that we are on God's side. That's what that comment was all about, Charlie.

Sure, that's what you meant, sure....

"I know that the Lord is always on the side of the right. But it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lord's side."

-Lincoln (apocryphal)

UPDATE: Here are some verifiable Lincoln quotes, maybe she meant one of these:

My earlier views of the unsoundness of the Christian scheme of salvation and the human origin of the scriptures, have become clearer and stronger with advancing years and I see no reason for thinking I shall ever change them.

What is to be, will be, and no prayers of ours can arrest the decree.

The Bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession.

The only person who is a worse liar than a faith healer is his patient.

Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes his aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God's assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces, but let us judge not that we be not judged.

It is an established maxim and moral that he who makes an assertion without knowing whether it is true or false is guilty of falsehood, and the accidental truth of the assertion does not justify or excuse him.

The United States government must not undertake to run the Churches. When an individual, in the Church or out of it, becomes dangerous to the public interest he must be checked.

When the Know-Nothings get control, it [the Declaration of Independence] will read: "All men are created equal except negroes, foreigners and Catholics." When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty -- to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.

Allow the President to invade a neighboring nation whenever he shall deem it necessary to repel an invasion and you allow him to do so whenever he may choose to say he deems it necessary for such purpose, and you allow him to make war at pleasure....
If today he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade Canada to prevent the British from invading us, how could you stop him? You may say to him, "I see no probability of the British invading us," but he will say to you, "Be silent; I see it, if you don't."

UPDATE II: Transparency Edition
In order to clear up any further charges of creative editing, the full video of Palin's remarks is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZihQ7X9rzlM&feature=related
Iraq comments start at the 5:35 mark.

Not to be confused with Mark 5:35, "While he yet spake, there came from the ruler of the synagogue's house certain which said, Thy daughter is dead: why troublest thou the Master any further?"

Here's the real full transcript:

GOV. SARAH PALIN: Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending them out on a task that is from God. That’s what we have to make sure that we’re praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God’s plan. So bless them with your prayers, your prayers of protection over our soldiers.

This is her attempt to sum up what she thinks the (apocryphal) Lincoln quote is:

That’s a repeat of Abraham Lincoln’s words, when he said, first he suggested, never presume to know what God’s will is, and I would never presume to know God’s will or to speak god’s words, but what Abraham Lincoln had said, and that’s a repeat in my comments, was, let us not pray that God is on our side, in a war, or any other time. But let us pray that we are on God’s side. That’s what that comment was all about, Charlie.

Here's the real, fake Lincoln quote:

"I know that the Lord is always on the side of the right. But it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lord's side."

Anyone who claims that the middle statement tracks with either the above or below quote is either lying, a moron, or both.

Secondly, if you are going to claim context distorting edits, then you probably should not leave out final sentences as you accuse others of doing, cuz that final sentence actually clarifies what she is asking them to pray for, as her main statement when listened to is an extemporaneous mess without any clear meaning delivered in her rhetoric. That final statement, left out by "anonymous" commentator and pasted from Fox news is

"So bless them with your prayers, your prayers of protection over our soldiers."

and is not "So pray that we are actually fighting a just war and doing as God wishes" nor any variation thereof.

And it sure as heckles ain't a quote of Lincoln's, real or apocryphal. You might recall that he viewed the war dead as an atonement for Slavery and the war as the result of that sin, and God's punishment to both sides.

Or you could just make crap up.

Whichever.

Nifterrific!

Fold your own hero! Papercraft fun to be found here:

SNAP!

"The National Enquirer's coverage of a vicious war within Sarah Palin's extended family includes several newsworthy revelations, including the resulting incredible charge of an affair plus details of family strife when the Governor's daughter revealed her pregnancy. Following our John Edwards' exclusives, our political reporting has obviously proven to be more detail-oriented than the McCain campaign's vetting process. Despite the McCain camp's attempts to control press coverage they find unfavorable, The Enquirer will continue to pursue news on both sides of the political spectrum."

PWNED BY THE ENQUIRER!
That's gotta sting...

Ticket to Ride!

PRICELESS!

That's The Ticket, All Right!

On Monday morning, Ms. Palin and her husband, Todd, issued a statement saying that their 17-year-old unmarried daughter, Bristol, was five months pregnant and that she intended to marry the father.

Among other less attention-grabbing news of the day: it was learned that Ms. Palin now has a private lawyer in a legislative ethics investigation in Alaska into whether she abused her power in dismissing the state’s public safety commissioner; that she was a member for two years in the 1990s of the Alaska Independence Party, which has at times sought a vote on whether the state should secede; and that Mr. Palin was arrested 22 years ago on a drunken-driving charge.

Somebody's Been Learning Photoshop...

If the overall direction of his campaign is like his art direction, McCan't is gonna get trounced...

And The Winner Is...

Obama's veep choice revealed HERE.

Strange Visitor From Another Era?!?

Jeff Trexler reveals an alternate Earth's Superman.

Check it out HERE and see it HERE.

'nuff said

image courtesy Crooks And Liars

They Didn't Get The Memo!

"It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd to disparage a fellow countryman's memory of war from the comfort of mom's basement, but most Americans have the humility and gratitude to respect and learn from the memories of men who suffered on behalf of others. "

- McCain staffer Michael Goldfarb titters on McCain's 'Web Log'

He better watch out, or somebody gonna open up a can of Dark Knight on his sadly out-dated frat boy posturing azz...

Speaking of Tools...

Can't wait to see Team España's photo for the 2020 Nairobi Olympics...

Marketing Tools!

Movie whore fun from Comicon International...

http://gloto.com/resources/universal/mummy/player.html

Eat Fire!

TRIUMPH!

Tiga! Dyna! Gaia!

WHAT?!? No MAX?