This Just In

Tax evaders rush to beat amnesty deadline
-Reuters

"U.S. citizens with undeclared assets in tax havens such as Switzerland face a September 23 deadline to reveal their holdings, pay a fine and generally avoid criminal prosecution. When that amnesty program expires, any tax cheats found by the government could face criminal prosecution."

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"Hello, this is the police outside. We're about to bust down the door to your apartment. So please flush all your weed down the toilet at your earliest convenience. We'll give you ten, no, make that twenty minutes. Thanks for your cooperation."

-from the Eternal Vigilance desk.